If conversation is the foundation of social interaction, why is it often frustrating and unsatisfying?  For the amount of time we spend talking, you’d think we’d all be experts be the age of six.  While we try to educate ourselves with the written word, and entertain ourselves with the script, a conversation is something else, evolving unpredictably in real time.

Over the course of a thirty-year friendship, Wayne Jones and I have identified two categories of talkers. The first is Type A, those who express curiosity and take turns when talking.  You often find yourself drawn out by their questions as you’re given the time and space needed to express yourself.  You might share more than intended.  Type A people can take it too far and become quiz masters.  One-sided questioning, no matter how well-intentioned, turns conversation into interrogation.  The A people must occasionally offer something of themselves.  Balance in all things.

Type B people broadcast, interrupt, and verbally trample.  They dominate the airspace.  Your participation is not required.  Bs don’t ask questions because they aren’t curious.  They aren’t curious because they think they already know all there is to know about you.  Broadcasters delivering a monologue need a receiver, but there is no back and forth, no conversation.  You’re three words into a sentence and these verbal tramplers talk over you, bullying you into silence with higher volume.

I’ve linked to Part 1 and Part 2 of an interview Wayne and I have done on the topic of conversation.  Either you don’t know what we’re talking about, or this is all too familiar.  In any case, enjoy!