No Call Too Small

An accomplished writer, Oscar Martens has been nominated for several Canadian literary awards. This anthology compiles some of his best work previously only published separately.

By the end of the day, a cop must choose between ethics and social death. A camp counsellor, stuck deep in the woods with a small group of boys, only has a few hours before the DTs kick in. Adult children scramble to get the best of what remains of their mother’s estate, but funeral plans may be premature. Sandwiched between a depressed mother and a careless father, a young girl must help attract customers to the family business, no matter the cost.

The stories in No Call Too Small represent micro-scale disaster tourism on a winding road that is long and dark. Driving too fast, weaving between flaming wrecks, and drifting through cliff-side curves, there’s little choice but to hang on and meet whatever’s over the rise head on.

“Martens’s striking, perceptive collection illuminates a range of Canadians in moments of bad luck and dissatisfaction. In the title story, an unnamed Port Moody, B.C., cop, whose face has been disfigured from a dog attack, refuses to wear his prosthetic nose, costing him his relationship and earning him the nickname “The Face.” Martens’s haunting, darkly funny situations, captured in crisp, spare prose, will appeal to fans of George Saunders.”

— Publishers Weekly

“[Martens’ work] is rendered with a kind of tough minded, dark lyricism and black humour that makes his narrative voice both distinctive and effective. None of this is lighthearted, but all of it is excruciatingly funny. Readers who were delighted by John Vigna’s 2012 B.C. masterpiece Bull Head, or who love the satires of Evelyn Waugh or Jonathan Swift will find much to enjoy in No Call Too Small. Martens’ work would be impressive in any era, but it is particularly timely today. In a moment when every second story on CNN threatens to make satiric fiction obsolete, it is wonderful to come upon an author who faces into the horrific absurdities of modern life without flinching, a stylist who delivers his most powerful satiric points with laser sharp accuracy and lyrically beautiful language. Swift’s satires were informed by the “savage indignation” that lacerated his heart. Martens, who obviously shares Swift’s anguish and humour, is a worthy successor with his tough guy lyricism and keen observational skills.”

— excerpted from Tom Sandborn’s July 11, 2020, review in the Vancouver Sun. The review also appeared on July 12, 2020, in The Province and across Canada on the websites of many Postmedia community newspapers.

“I knew Oscar Martens was the real thing when I first read him over twenty years ago. These new stories offer fresh evidence aplenty. Smart, honest, sparely eloquent, moving, humane, and disillusioned in the healthiest sense of a word that gets way too much bad press. Martens is funny, too, desperately so—and how else is a writer supposed to observe and portray this world we’ve made?”

— Steven Heighton, Governor General’s Literary Award winner and author of The Nightingale Won’t Let You Sleep

“Oscar Martens’s characters hurtle their way toward potential disaster or redemption in these vivid stories of lives burdened by misunderstandings and disappointment, usually self-inflicted. Martens’s strong prose is a pleasure to read, with dark humour and lively storytelling that brings a quirky humanity to his characters.”

— Janie Chang, author of Dragon Springs Road

“A young girl stuck on a Ferris wheel in a lightning storm, caught between the madness of her manic, idiot father and a withdrawn mother. A group of locals watching the action as a boat launch becomes a dangerous, bitterly complex, and life defining moment. A young man following his heart in a car that is barely alive – a car held together by desire and temerity. A dystopian nightmare that flips the world upside-down and inside-out. Oscar Martens is the twitchy love child of Tom Waits, Charles Bukowski and Ricky Gervais. These stories are lean, and loaded, and devastatingly true. In just a few pages, Martens throws his readers into the deep end of a swimming pool swarming with sharks, or piranhas, or hungry polar bears—and you, dear reader, have a flesh wound. These short stories read like brilliant, poignant novels. Highly recommended.”

— Thomas Trofimuk, author of Waiting for Columbus

“Oscar Martens’s collection is a warm, safe port in the storm that is life these days. His writing is vivid and clear, his characters honest and their stories full of the details and emotional truth that make them real. I read these stories, one by one, as a nightly ritual, as a special treat before going to sleep to call up the dreams that make for a peaceful sleep.”

— Jennifer Haupt, Editor, One True Thing, Psychology Today

“Deeply humane and often darkly funny, Martens’s stories appeal to the slightly off-centre observer in all of us. He writes with luminous honesty of the restlessness of never quite fitting in, whether it be in the landscape, family or community. From the girl who rides the Ferris wheel all day to try to draw customers into her father’s failing prairie gas station to the cop who removes his prosthetic nose when he wants to scare criminals into submission, these characters invite tenderness as they provoke and entertain.”

— Nadine McInnis, author of Delirium for Solo Harp

“Taut, efficient and always just a beat away from heartbreak, No Call Too Small is a beautifully crafted collection. Martens deftly explores surprising and unexpected worlds, using them as a prism to dissect and understand human nature. With each successive story, I felt I was in the hands of a writer who knows more than a thing or two about love and pain.”

— Marcia Butler, author of Pickle’s Progress